I cried at the bar… Showing your Humanness is OK.

I Cried at the Bar

I cried at the bar…

Showing your Humanness is Ok

Have you ever cried at the bar? Showing your humanness? It used to happen to me in University once in awhile. Usually I had drunk too much and was upset about some boy.

That’s what happened this time only I’m a grown woman in her 30s. I showed my humanness again. It’s like getting naked in front of everyone – emotionally.

A couple weeks ago, I drank a little too much at a friend’s birthday party at a bar and cried over a boy. This boy is my husband to be exact.

It’s only been 4 months since he died but it feels like both yesterday and an eternity since I talked to him and saw his face.

I’ve always liked to show my best self. To try to be positive at all times. I like people to think I’m doing ok, that I’ve got things under control. And for the most part that’s true.

On Facebook I purposefully share things that will show others I’m ok and try to be positive. Like the post about “Hold onto the Love, not the Loss.” I believe in that.

But it’s not the whole truth.

I cried at the bar. Because I miss him like crazy. Because talking about our kids and our husbands with my friends isn’t the same. I can give examples of stories of him and the kids from this summer but after that? I’m out of stories. I won’t have stories of how he handled potty training or teaching them how to ride a bike or drive a car. I can try to imagine what it would be like since I knew him so well. But I won’t know for sure. And that’s devastating.

And I’m mad. Mad and sad.

I’m mad he left me. I’m mad he left our girls. I’m mad I have to do this without him. I’m mad about all the stuff he’s going to miss. And I’m sad for all those reasons.

And it’s ok. It’s ok for me to tell you this. It’s ok to feel sad. And for me to show my humanness. It’s ok for you to show yours too.

My guru word is Honour.

I am living honour moment to moment. I will honour my true feelings and who I really am. I will honour when I’m sad, mad, happy, or whatever, when it arrives. I will honour Steve. I will honour him by remembering and sharing him.

And I want you to honour you too. I want you to honour who you really are and embrace it. There’s no time for pretending. Spend time with the people who lift you up. Do things that fill you up with joy.

Writing this post? It’s also like getting naked in front of everyone. Thanks to my friend Jocelyn for pushing me to do it. Showing my humanness again.

Am I ok? Yes and no. But that’s ok too.

Talk soon,

Whitney

How breaking up with the scale helped my marriage

I started dieting officially in Grade 8. At 5′ 4″ I wanted to weight 120-125 lbs. My body thought otherwise. It thought that 130 was a better weight.

So my love/hate relationship with the scale began. When it was moving down, it was love. When it was moving up, it was hate.

In my desperation to get into the weight range that I wanted, my dieting attempts got more rigid. Trouble is, I was a terrible dieter. Restriction was never my strong suit. Overeating, binge eating, secret eating – that was what I did in response to restriction and body bashing. I loved myself better with food.

Fast forward into adulthood. Still wanting to weigh less. Still letting the scale be the ‘verification’ for if I was ‘on track’ or not.

What does this have to do with my marriage?

My husband thinks that I’m hot. He did when we met. He does now. Those two bodies are very different from one another. For one thing, 14 years have passed. I had a C section after carrying a 10lbs baby boy. And I’m not a size 8 anymore. I’m a 14.

One day, about 4 years ago, he was trying to get lucky and I was ‘off track’ and feeling anything but sexy. I screamed at him about how the weight was coming back, that I was fat and not sexy.

He looked at me with such anger. I don’t often see that side of him. He’s a joker and typically being silly.

“I am so sick and tired about how you talk about my wife” is all that he said. He walked away.

I cried. He was right. If anyone spoke about my friend or family that way I would be furious. By placing that kind of value on body size, it diminished all the other things that I am: playful, funny, a great Mom, caring doctor, supportive friend, bright and beautiful woman.

Why couldn’t I see what he sees?

I really started to understand that day what measuring my weight did to me. I gave my power away to a number. I told it that it could tell me if I could feel cute today. I started to see how what the scale said had no relevance on the other things in my life. I am an amazing friend at any size. My kid adores me at any size. That sweet man that I married wants to be with me at any size. But when I’m grumpy because my body doesn’t look like I want it to, that does impact my ability to be a great friend, an influential doctor, a supportive friend, and fun Mama.

So I chose my husband over my scale. I broke up with it that day and haven’t looked back.

What does your relationship with your scale provide you with? What does it cost you?

Not everybody has such a hard time with scales. If you are like me though, and need help with the break up, I’m here.

Kerri Fullerton XOXO

 

Managing Menopause Naturally: Herbs and Hormones

I was working with a patient for many months. We were trying to get her night sweats under control so that she could sleep. The lack of sleep was disrupting her daytime life with fatigue and brain fog. After many trials with many herbs, I brought up the possibility of bioidentical hormones to manage her menopause symptoms. She wanted to know if they were safe. After reading the results of the Women’s Health Initiative study back in 2002 she had concerns. They had shown a relationship between hormones and increased cardiovascular and cancer risks.

A wonderful article published in Integrated Healthcare Practitioners goes through what we currently know about the research.

While it concludes that we need more research done, especially comparative studies, it does point to some small studies done that support the use of bioidentical hormones over synthetic versions. They show less side effects and better safety profile for bioidentical estrogen and progesterone.

So what order should therapies occur in to treat menopause symptoms naturally?

  1. Follow good nutritional guidelines – a whole food, plant based diet.
  2. Move your body – daily exercise is helpful for symptoms and for prevention of cardiovascular disease and fracture risk.
  3. Herbs and vitamins – often these are enough to keep symptoms at bay. Sage, Black Cohosh and Soy all have evidence to support their use.
  4. Bioidentical hormones – when other interventions cannot provide the relief needed, adding some progesterone with or without estrogen can yield fabulous results.

How long have you been suffering with menopause symptoms? Is it time to get your sleep, sex and sanity back?

To see if naturopathic medicine could help your menopause symptoms, book a free meet-the-doctor session using our online booking system, or call the office at 705-792-6717

Natural treatment for insomnia

We often enquire about our patients sleep as it is integral to good health. Far too often, our patients report sleep disturbance or insomnia (either being unable to fall asleep or waking in the night). So when we came across this study published in JAMA Intern Med. 2015 Feb. we had to share.

meditate to sleep

This study compared Mindfulness Meditation to Sleep Hygiene Education (the implementation of proper sleep habits like dark rooms and no TV’s).

After one year, the meditation group had significant improvement in:

  • insomnia symptoms
  • depressive symptoms
  • fatigue
  • inflammatory markers

So how do you start? Check out some of these resources and begin your mindful journey to better sleep and better health.

If you are local to Barrie and looking for classes, check out:

There is also a free online program available.

Yours in Health,

Dr. Kerri Fullerton ND & Dr. Whitney Young ND

 

Why I prescribe 100 Deep Breaths a Day

Yes, that’s right…I said 100. We breathe all day long without thinking about it. However, we breathe quite shallowly up in the upper part of our lungs. We less often recycle the air in the bottom of our lungs.

But what does that have to do with my fertility?

100 deep breaths a day gives your body a chance to move into the “rest and digest” phase rather than the “fight or flight” phase it is usually in. Women experiencing fertility issues often have very high amounts of stress. One particular study found that 30% of women attending fertility clinics experienced psychological stress illnesses such as anxiety and depression. They also found that as stress increased, fertilization decreased. That’s a stressful fact!

So what can I do about it?

Of course you are going to be stressed out when dealing with fertility issues. It’s a given. However, there are small things you can do to help. Another research study found higher conception rates for women who were part of a cognitive behaviour intervention group (55%) or a support group (54%) than those who were not receiving any intervention (20%). Also, positive moods correlated with increasing chances of delivering a baby. And breathe… 100 deep breaths a day.

How do I breathe?

When you breathe, breathe in your nose deep into your belly so you see it rise and fall instead of your shoulders rising and falling.

How will I fit all those breaths in 1 day?

Do 5 first thing in the morning, do 5 while waiting for your food to heat up, and do some while you are waiting for anything – at a stoplight, in line at the bank. Other great times to breathe are when you are going to lose your cool and yell at someone or something. Breathe.

What else can I do?

There are wonderful tools that we use at Rooted to help manage stress as well as hormone balance. Come see us and we can help!

Breathe Lungs

Am I taking enough Vitamin D?

This winter has been rough. We’ve had so much snow, the temperatures have been very cold and even the avid skiers are ready for spring.

During the winter we cannot create sufficient vitamin D from sun exposure because of the distance between us and the sun. We aren’t close enough to the sun to be able to produce much Vitamin D even when we are out in the sunshine.

Vitamin D is not only important for your bone health; researchers are finding it’s also important for:

  • Immune system
  • Muscle function
  • Cardiovascular function
  • Respiratory system
  • Brain development
  • Anti-cancer effects

If you want to know your current blood levels of Vitamin D you can get this tested at the lab but it is an out of pocket expense because OHIP does not cover this test for the general public anymore unless there is a disease such as rickets. The cost of getting your vitamin D checked is $33 at Life Labs, however you will need a requisition from a naturopathic doctor or your family doctor. Testing is not necessarily something you need to do before supplementing but I do have patients who want to know their status or confirm that their supplementation is working.

So how much should I be taking?

This chart is from the Vitamin D Council, a group of scientists with the most up to date research on Vitamin D.

Vitamin D Council Endocrine Society Food and Nutrition Board
Infants 1,000 IU/day 400-1,000 IU/day 400 IU/day
Children 1,000 IU/day per 25lbs of body weight 600-1,000 IU/day 600 IU/day
Adults 5,000 IU/day 1,500-2,000 IU/day 600 IU/day, 800 IU/day for seniors
Recommended daily intakes from various organizations:

 

Can I get vitamin D from foods?

Yes, you can get vitamin D from foods, however the amounts are very minimal. These foods are:

  • Fatty fish
  • Beef liver
  • Egg yolks
  • Fortified milk and orange juice
  • Fortified cereals
  • Infant formula

So, as we can see, Vitamin D is extremely important to our health and most everyone should be supplementing at this time of year in Canada. If you are concerned about your levels or want more information about further testing options, please feel free to book a free meet the doctor visit to learn more about how naturopathic medicine can help you.

Reference: www.vitamindcouncil.org