The Perils of Parenting

Last night I was running down the stairs into the basement and stepped straight onto an upturned, jewelled tiara. 5 perfect puncture wounds appeared on the bottom of my foot.

I could have yelled. I could have demanded the girls tell me which one did it. Who left that on the stairs?! For me to step on?! And then bleed?!

They were already pretty horrified by my cry out in pain. The sight of the blood also really made them worried.

I took it as a teachable moment. Calmly explaining that this was a great reason why we shouldn’t leave our toys on the floor.

Am I the most patient mother in the world? Probably not. But I do know that there are many things that I do to make sure I’m in a better mood when I’m around the kids so I don’t lose my cool as often as I used to.

Here’s what I do to make sure I’m a calmer mom:

  • Get a good night sleep
  • Eat regularly (no hangry allowed!)
  • Take time away from the kids aka “me time”
  • Make my life enjoyable and not totally revolving around them
  • Counselling and coaching so I can know my feelings and reactions better

I love working with other moms who want to be Supermoms for their Superkids.

If you’d love to feel more in control of your emotions and your health, book in for a free intro session to chat more about how we could work together.

You’ve got this, Mama.

Talk soon,

Whitney

Why I prescribe 100 Deep Breaths a Day

Yes, that’s right…I said 100. We breathe all day long without thinking about it. However, we breathe quite shallowly up in the upper part of our lungs. We less often recycle the air in the bottom of our lungs.

But what does that have to do with my fertility?

100 deep breaths a day gives your body a chance to move into the “rest and digest” phase rather than the “fight or flight” phase it is usually in. Women experiencing fertility issues often have very high amounts of stress. One particular study found that 30% of women attending fertility clinics experienced psychological stress illnesses such as anxiety and depression. They also found that as stress increased, fertilization decreased. That’s a stressful fact!

So what can I do about it?

Of course you are going to be stressed out when dealing with fertility issues. It’s a given. However, there are small things you can do to help. Another research study found higher conception rates for women who were part of a cognitive behaviour intervention group (55%) or a support group (54%) than those who were not receiving any intervention (20%). Also, positive moods correlated with increasing chances of delivering a baby. And breathe… 100 deep breaths a day.

How do I breathe?

When you breathe, breathe in your nose deep into your belly so you see it rise and fall instead of your shoulders rising and falling.

How will I fit all those breaths in 1 day?

Do 5 first thing in the morning, do 5 while waiting for your food to heat up, and do some while you are waiting for anything – at a stoplight, in line at the bank. Other great times to breathe are when you are going to lose your cool and yell at someone or something. Breathe.

What else can I do?

There are wonderful tools that we use at Rooted to help manage stress as well as hormone balance. Come see us and we can help!

Breathe Lungs

9 Choices of Extremely Happy People

IMG_1791I’ve been receiving The Eco Parent magazine which is a fabulous magazines and I highly recommend subscriptions to it. I pulled out an article about “sustainable happiness”  a few months ago and it has been sitting on my desk. I love each point and I think it’s a worthwhile list to revisit every couple of months to make sure you are on your own path to your unique happiness.

Here is how we choose to be happy: The 9 choices of extremely happy people  – by Rick Foster & Greg Hicks. Putnam, New York: 1999.

  1. Intention. The active desire and commitment to be happy, and the fully conscious decision to choose happiness over unhappiness.
  2. Accountability. The choice to create the life you want to live; to assume full personal responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and feelings, and the emphatic refusal to blame others for your unhappiness.
  3. Identification. The ongoing process of looking deeply within yourself to assess what makes you uniquely happy, apart from what you’re told by others should make you happy.
  4. Centrality. The non-negotiable insistence on making that which creates happiness central in your life.
  5. Recasting. The choice to convert problems into opportunities and challenges, and to transform trauma into something meaningful, important, and a source of emotional energy.
  6. Options. The decision to approach life by creating multiple scenarios; to be open to new possibilities and to adopt a flexible approach to life’s journey.
  7. Appreciation. The choice to appreciate deeply your life and the people in it, and to stay in the present by turning each experience into something precious.
  8. Giving. The choice to share yourself with friends and community and to give to the world at large without the expectation of a “return.”
  9. Truthfulness. The choice to be honest with yourself and others in an accountable manner by not allowing societal, corporate, or family demands to violate your internal contract.

Blood Sugar Blues?

What and when you eat can have a huge impact on how you feel.  Watch this video to learn more.

 

Next week: Are you sleeping enough to be happy?

Mental health diagnosis

Once you have the diagnosis of ‘no headlights’, you have two options on how to handle it.  (if you didn’t tune in last week, read part one ‘Being Labelled’)

1.  You know that you need to find lights.  Since your car wasn’t manufactured with lights, it may take a few different tries before you find lights that consistently work for you vehicle.  You may still crash a few times through the trial and error but you stick with it until you figure it out.  You stop thinking that you’re crazy and when the accidents happen, you take responsibility for having faulty lights and you try out new lights.

2.  You know that you don’t’ have lights but instead of trying to find lights, you just keep crashing and use the fact that you don’t have lights to divert responsibility. ” It’s just the way my car was manufactured” you say after a crash.  “Deal with it”.

The first option is very empowering.  It has the ability of giving you a life with far fewer crashes.  You can also work on mending the damage done before you knew  that there weren’t any lights on your car.

The second option is simply destructive.  Knowing that there is a problem and not attempting to fix it just leads to increase crashes and more people getting hurt along the way.

There are also the people who don’t even bother to find out why they crash in the first place.  But they are not likely reading this blog.

If you or your child is crashing, seek help in getting a proper diagnosis.  Once you have it, figure out what the best strategy is for fixing the problem.  Empower yourself and your child.

Instead of trying to make sure that you or your child isn’t labelled for life, why not instead shine some light on things and figure how to get the most out of life.  If the strategy that you picked is no longer working, pick a new one.

If you don’t know where to start, I’d be thrilled to help.  Book an appointment online or call the office.

 

 

Being labelled

For many people, a diagnosis of a mental health disorder, like ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome is  viewed as a label and is attached with a lot of stigma and fear.

What if we change the perspective or the meaning associated with a diagnosis?

I offer this metaphor:

You’re driving towards a tunnel.  It’s a beautiful day and you’re having a lovely drive.  You enter the tunnel without a worry in the world.  By the time that you come out of the tunnel, you’re a mess.  There are scratches everywhere, you’re angry, and you’re confused.  What just happened?  It was too dark in the tunnel to see anything.  You feel like you were just beaten up.

You decide to carry on, and shake it off.  Back to life you go.

A few days or weeks later, you’re driving on the road, towards another tunnel.  Feeling good and positive, you go through the tunnel.  Same thing happens though.  Something in the tunnel caused your car to get all wrecked and you are furious.  What happened?

You start asking other people if it happens to them?  They look at you like you’re crazy.  What do you mean ‘something’ is in the tunnel?  There’s nothing there.

Now you’re feeling confused and embarrassed.  Maybe it was just my imagination.  Maybe it is ‘all in my head’.  I’ll go through another tunnel and it will be fine.

But again, you experience this ‘something’ in a very real way.  There are visible scratches on your car and you’re pretty shaken up.  But no one else gets it.  They don’t get why things change ‘only for you’ in the tunnel.

To make matters worse, they are getting frustrated with you.  Every time that you crash, you need their help.  You need financial aid to fix your car, you need rides while the car is being fixed, and worst of all, sometimes you are not the only one who gets hurt.

So finally you take your car to a new mechanic and he says, “Of course you’re crashing.  You don’t have lights.”  Huh.

The diagnosis of not having lights explains everything.  You didn’t know that other people could see in the tunnel and they never thought to ask if you had lights because “everybody has lights”.  Finally, your diagnosis explains everything.

Now there are two ways to handle things.

Check back next week to see what they are 😉

Kerri